He just put his belt back on and left the room with the door open. Continue reading. In, the language of our marriage, in referring to this lifestyle choice, I tell my husand that I love being his baby. Does the power differential matter? But having said all that, you have something practical, but difficult, which you must do. Dark child, your nickname tells me something about your view. Its the word of God: Thats their thing. 4000 kids a day get killed for being conceived in the wrong womb. Church youth group leaders would tell young ladies that modest is hottest and make it clear that exposing any kind of skin somehow made a woman loose or of a certain kind. My parents had total veto power over what I could wear. In 1Cor 7:4, the wife and the husband having power or authority over each others bodies is in the context of them not refusing each other conjugal relations (due benevolence). Its important to note that Lauren was spanked as a child through adulthood. Except the exegeises you have been taught, does contradict. Ben is a very strict HOH, and I love him very much because of it. I love them but our relationship is often strained. The criminal has relinquished consent by the act that requires justice. Its not physically another person, but it is mentally and emotionally. You seem to imagine that the relationships start like a normal date, and then once the woman is trapped and vulnerable, the man shows his true colors, or initiates the discussion at a point when the woman cannot truly consent. I would be fine with the term myself if used in that manner, but the word feminism unfortunately is usually associated with left wing, radical types who tend to do things like support abortion, and a lot of them vote Democrat. I am surprised that nobody else spoke up about that. Domestic Discipline and the Bible Although defenders of domestic discipline argue that their lifestyle is biblically-based, many Christian religious leaders disagree. When it comes to twisting, and even mistranslating, Scripture it is amazing how [s]ome people believe with great fervor preposterous things that just happen to coincide with their self-interest. Coleman v. CIR (791 F.2d 68 at 69 (7th Cir. Ben was instructed first to not spank me over my panties, but to spank me nude, and after about 2 swats I was crying enough to get Ben to stop. The patriarchy guys, like whats his name, Doug Whats-It? Your views are not applicable and do not work for women who are in poverty, who live in other nations, and who are never-married, widowed, infertile, divorced. Here is a challenge for you that will expose your hypocrisy: your argue that a woman can only be tricked into that kind of relationship. Debate is fine. The modesty issue and him not wanting you to get any kind of lingerie shows a real distorted view of sexuality. Especially when you factor in that they are free to leave these relationships anytime. I can also say , please sir may I go to bed without my nightgown and thats me asking to be intimate, Ben almost always says yes. Im sure youd find plenty of support in those cultures. Women would rather be loved than respected. You sit there on your high horse telling a survivor what her recovery should look like. I had my hands up and she walks into me. Jamin was not told about the allegations made against him by [redacted] to me. But I do not want a day when people wake up confused because women rights have been flushed down the toilets. We have a page for cybersafety in our Resources section too. Until I moved out, both her and my father spanked me, although he did most of it. When we protect and defend abused wives, we are also protecting and defending their children and future generations. I think you are exactly right. So let me ask you a question. I think there were many times two which I was so disobedient that my parents would have not known what to do unless they had given me a spanking and set me straight. Our marriage is energized. Then stop discussing it here and promoting it. Similarly, just asserting There are no Bible passages that say that husbands have authority over wives does not nullify all the passages I quoted which say the opposite to what you want to believe. I read someone say they did have to obey, even in that, because she is to obey in EVERYTHING. 1Tim 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. He/she was saying that men truly working with the wisdom of God understand everything, both Gods justice, and the theories of their counterparts, rather than only understanding their own theories and thinking that everybody else is a fool (like you do). Dont you think a woman like that has no theology to support her and is outside the will of God? So if not understanding DD is not understanding justice then you are already acknowledging that DD is non-consensual. Just as our Lord washed the feet of His disciples, it wasnt to show that He was beneath them, but to show that real leadership serves. Regina, christianforums.net, 9. Hes not a victim, hes a kinky dude with odd underwear. I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, Some men are sexist, selfish, or abusive pigs. Dont just believe what an individual survivor tells you: though survivors have much wisdom based on their own experiences, their own experiences may not be generalisable to others completely, and this applies ESPECIALLY in regards to legal options. The woman you are concerned about is indeed at very high risk. You think that your intolerance is acceptable because you are on the side of political correctness. I can remember being a little girl (probably middle school age) and hearing someone tell me the Scripture in Ephesians that calls women to submit to their husbands. I take it that you are a man pretending to be a woman. And I expect I was twisting or misinterpreting scripture with the Mark 11 quote, wasnt I? The last paragraph of Laurens e-mail revealed her parentssided with Laurens husband and believed her to be disobedient to her husband. It is almost enough to make me hope that the doctrine of eternal conscious punishment is true, at least for some whose evil actions in this life are especially egregious. But unlike the "Cry U.S.E." Carrie, what conclusion did Pat Robertson come up with to help this husband? I dont believe Bill Gothard is a Christian, I think he is a sadistic man that worships himself and wants other people to worship him. I find joy in being a submissive wife. This 3. Thank you so much for answering all of these questions and your willingness to share your story publicly. There is no, Well you missed a load of laundry, or The dishes are dirty type spanks in our home. I bought some lingerie (nothing really scandalous) and wore a pair one night. Which is another reason that role playing is dangerousOK, Im not good enough for you, but if I dress up as Kim Kardashian, thats OK now?. Is it Fair for A Fat Christian Man to Expect His Wife to RemainFit? There is plenty of information out there, why dont you do your research instead of spreading intolerance and hatry. So when I serve my husband its not out of weakness, but out of strength. When we got there he told me that he was fed up with the way I was behaving and I was going to be punished right then. No this is not like the playground bully. You take it up with him. This 3. photo credit: Chiara Cremaschi via photopin cc. Wifes getting spanked like being spanked. campaign, Christian Domestic Discipline/Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage is not satire -- and I just can't get it out of my head. I have believed for many years that this is actually biblical, and the husband should spank his wife. Your testimonial will be added to this blog so that other people can benefit from and be inspired by your experiences with Christian Domestic Discipline. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. And you just assume I am a man because it never enters your intolerant head that a woman could actually want to put herself under her husbands headship. You can literally make the Bible say just about anything you want with some crafty proof-texting. Christian Domestic Discipline - 09-23-2011, 11:08 PM. Honestly I feel like I feel like these testimonials are written by perverts mostly old men who never had have been married or just absolutely disgusting men who are trying to make this normal I dont think these are actually written by real people actually experiencing this mess because quite honestly I would hope if you were that much of a Christian, that much in a head of household relationship your husband would not be comfortable with you describing your sore, red bottom if so he is as much of a pervert as that Pastor was. At least thats his justification but this is far far more severe than spankings. I want any other women reading this to know that your (Lone Voices) position is NOT biblical, and God created women to lead and teach men if he gifted them in those areas, and God created women to be equals with men in marriage. Rock showed the stars and you looked at the finger. You have decided that you are better than everybody, however humility and open-mindness are the beginning of knowledge. Until I left the house, with being petite along with their ideas of modesty, I still wore little girl style underpants. Gen 3:16 Unto the woman he said, thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. I am the only one who has had the honesty actually to quote passages of scripture. My father could sit on his self worshipping bottom the whole time my mother suffered through pregnancy and birth, he did not have to dread horrific genital pain, he sure got a thrill that she did. Was your church aware of what was going on? And like you, I really enjoy being described as a feministit means a ton of different things, but generally its not something I get accused of, either. You are, by your writing, an intelligent adult. Daisy, just where in the Gospels did Christ say, I say Genesis 3:16 is not to be followed any more? You write as though no woman in the Bible had any learning. Im arguing that the word discipline entails a superior/inferior relationship and therefore not true consent. I dont mean their wives are perfect and sinless. And you seem to see yourself not as a good child, a child of the light, but as a dark child. Maybe youve experienced a lot, maybe youve seen a lot, and this experience has lead you to be more emotional than rational and to err on the wrong side of history. There is no longer a power struggle between two people who both want to be in charge. It is a confession of our dependence on one another and an acceptance of our natural roles.Do you submit to the wishes of your boss? its called, http://lisasjoydd.blogspot.com. There are no Bible passages that say that husbands have authority over wives, but one that says that wives have authority over their husbands body. It ranged anywhere from a swat or two over my clothing up to him pulling down my pants for episodes that left me bawling. Each jurisdiction has its own laws and its own policies for how law enforcement deal with domestic abuse. I wished people like you existed since the beginning of times so the world would be a much better place even though apart from labelling people victims and abusers, your general philosophies do not do much to help relationships work as is evidenced by the disfunctional state of marriages today that have become a mess just at the same period your ideological ideals started to become turned into laws. I got spanked at home until I left to be with my ex when I was 21. Your brand of Christianity, which insists on male rulership, is just like Islam and Mormonism. I found out that the Pastor spoke to her husband and so he had the pastor and his wife come over for dinner and then told her the pastor talked to him about her attitude and she was getting a spanking after dinner. This practice is about two consenting adults who are free to leave the relationship at any time, period. Why? These three core values are essential: Communication, Consent, & Compassion. Yes, many Muslims and Hindus follow male headship. saying she needs to feel the pain to remind her to whom she belongs and forcing her to do rigorous housework and chores. campaign, Christian Domestic Discipline/Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage is not satire -- and I just can't get it out of my head. The point is that whenever we are in a tough spot, I always emphasize that its whatever he decides and he knows that. Its brilliant. Julie Anne, like Daisy, you too are filtering the Bible through experiences as well as using a logical non-sequiter. There are many things practiced all over the globe that would not be suitable for Christians. James truly believed in My father and two of my grandfathers had no business leading, and had no business having authority. Its not just me that talks about your husband having authority, Julie Anne. Many people even literally proceed in the manner I have just described. For, right now most people in this thread seem to be in a bubble of self-righteousness that tends to look ridiculous from the outside, especially when the scientists obviously know nothing about the object of their analysis. It was about a year ago now. I thought the periods might have been missing letters for a larger word. [redacted], and his wife, [redacted], were in the room while I was talking with [redacted]. That is the irony. Sgt. Often, when we face tough decisions, I will offer input and SUGGESTIONS. She will need to learn some self-control with not crying out, or bite a pillow to keep quiet. I wasnt mad at my husband I knew I earned my punishment. But I think there are probably other women in conservative or controlling Christian households where the husband thinks it is OK to spank his wife like just another child in the house. (There are no passages that support spanking. Hi, I read some of these odd comments about the bible, written by men in this case perverted old patriarchs. Its the word of God:. Before we left he decided he had had enough and took me to our room and spanked me. It isnt normal for another man to spank your naked body, your husband allowed this to happen I cant believe that thats true. Maybe I shouldnt do this, but sometimes I resist giving input when asked. (Ill let her tell you one way or the other, if she wants to.). States have laws limiting marriage of close relatives. So husbands are not unilaterally to refuse conjugal relations to the wives, nor vice versa. I know some of each do as a weapon. Its as if my fathers and brother-in-laws defensive shields go up and they tune out. Continue reading. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. If you didnt, you wouldnt have your job for very long, would you?! It seems that both of these components make it much more likely for a woman to be the victim of domestic violence/wife spanking. We need to consider the importance of thecorrelation of. I see only 3.5% of Americans traveled overseas in 2009 (when the study was done). Months later, I finally reported on the topic of wife spanking in this article:The Christian Patriarchy Movements Dark Secret of WifeSpanking. For instance, those who practice domestic discipline often cite scripture that calls for wives to submit to their husbands. I believe the misogynists you identify are not Christians. I dont believe they are Christians. I have a lot of respect for your father, and husband. Do you find that you need it as much or less over the last 30 years? Especially in situations where the woman feels something is wrong but might not think of herself as abused. My husband was only two years older (but he is close to 6 feet tall and heavily muscled and I am around 5 feet talland under 100 lbs). I dont expect you to see it. I think youd be surprised at how educated these people are. We have no set rules so to speak. It may be more difficult in your 30s, and may never happen. I see no other difference in how these wives are treated compared to how they were treated as daughters. Yes, that makes a lot of sense it was a normal progression for you. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons [and daughters] of God. (Matthew 5:6,9 ESV). You get all edgy. The article talked about it being abusive to spank children up to adulthood, but why is it only abusive if it is done up to adulthood. Anne Garboczi Evans, that is terrible! Not to mention any basic understanding of Ezer Kenegdo where most of it starts concerning this issue. It doesnt matter if millions of legitimate lives deviating from the average are frustrated and destroyed in the process, these are just data points). If kink is your thing, thats your thing, but dont sit there and try to convince me or anyone else you got kink from the Bible because you sure as heck did not. Wife Undermines Her Husbands Authority in Front of Children, He DisciplinesHer? Our families, and some of our friends think we are nuts, me mostly, for living this way, but I can honestly say that the 10 years of our marriage I am most happy knowing that I can at any moment end up crying with a sore bottom over my husbands lap. Send in your testimonials! I had another thought about thetransfer of headship in marriage. No woman wants to be slapped around, and certainly not because it has anything to do with not being able to find a macho man to date. And if they fail to submit or they fail in other duties as wives they willingly accept Domestic Discipline. If a man and a woman are not dating yet. I think your preference is sick, deranged, weird, and a whole bunch of other negative stuff. BDSM is not recommended for all Christians, but safe and responsible BDSM has the potential to enhance intimacy and strengthen marriages. Women do not secretly want to be controlled and desired. Feminism and egalitarianism everywhere-everytime are very new concepts. Its the word of God: The thing is that he never raged. I started going to their church and before long was a very active member. Thats too much? Dont want me sticking my nose into your bedroom affairs? It took a long time for me to have the strength to leave him. D husband turned a non-consensual sex fetish. I didnt fancy them seeing my panties, but we agreed. I have a dear friend in a marriage filled with Spiritual Abuse. This tendency you have to talk about people practicing it as if they were some sort of deranged people or animals inferior to you. I guess I fail to see how the one couple in the galaxy that can carry this on consensually should override the millions of women that are in domestically violent relationships. And Junia, may God bless her, doesnt do it. No one arranges to be bullied, however couples consensually arrange these relationships before entering them. Isnt bullying between two consenting children? May we all work to protect women and expose this shameful sin and crime in our churches. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart! And you just assume I am a man because it never enters your intolerant head that a woman could actually want to put herself under her husbands headship. Many of them are even written by women in these relationships. And your friend, of course, if she is able to. You are interpreting the Scriptures in error, just as the Pharisees did. Jamin said he did not want to touch [redacted] who was still trying to sleep with her head on [redacted] left shoulder and [redacted] was just walking into his hand. What Is The Husbands Role In Christian Domestic Discipline? People here sound like anecdotes outraged them so they decided to throw the baby with the water and prosecute, prosecute, prosecute no matter what. And please dont discount the experiences of those whove suffered under religious patrio-centrism or just plain chauvinism. Oh brother, that was too obvious. 2. You go to great lengths to make it a mental sickness and an abuse which it isnt. Did you meet your ex-husband at church or was he from outside the church? Im very grateful to Lauren for her e-mailand being willing to shed more light into this abusive practice so that we can have more understanding of what she and many others are going through. They plan these relationships and there is no knowledge asymmetry. There is no biblical support for your position repeatedly quoting Eph 5.22 and the like is not proof for your stance, because you interpret such passages incorrectly. And there goes the bitter card. He was so different than the other Christians I had met, many of whom tormented my Jewish best friend and my completely secular family. Wife spanking is often referred to as Christian Domestic Discipline, as if to make it more politically correct. Its happenin. Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts Your inability to understand your counterpart speaks volume and certainly does not honour you. Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Very interested in the resources available to wives repeatedly forced to accept this unspeakable treatment. In the above examples, we see non-denominational, charismatic/evangelical, Reformed Presbyterian denominations represented. You went from your father as protector/provider/authority to your husband as protector/provider/authority. Are you insisting that your reading of these passages is the only possible correct one? Or are women and little girls suppose to hurt to make Christian men feel good, I lived this life, it hurts so much. Its a logical progression. Have they been able to escape and at what cost? Pastor then took over and showed Ben that I wouldnt break if I was spanked properly, and I got my first real spanking of my life. Weenie-chopping? As far as this message is concerned I understand and respect your point. But the Pastor wouldnt agree with her that her husband was being too strict. I totally respect that your religious view (whether or not you consider yourself atheists, this really is a religious decision, a lifestyle choice), I totally respect that your religious view may be equality-driven feminist relationships. Since then our relationship has grown into the most beautiful and wonderful one that I could ever imagine. Thanks to a suggestion and my loving HOHs (head of households) permission it was a test spank. If he loved his wife he would not want her to have sex against her will, if Christian men loved women they would not want them to have sex against their will. It is not a defense of Domestic Discipline. She will need to learn some self-control with not crying out, or bite a pillow to keep quiet. I have already done that in my previous posts like The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline. In the 70s went screaming for Radio Talk Show Host to interview abused women in the church; we havent come far have we? I can see from your posts that you have major issues with men, but please dont filter the Bible through your own experiences. I dont remember a bible verse where Jesus said I had to be (bad word) against my will.

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