Since you stayed until the end, here are more clean jokes for kids and adults: Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. That is wrong on so many different levels.' - Tim Vine These 100 jokes are free. Don't miss these 25 brainy jokes that'll make ye sound like a genius. If you push that down and twist it, hes full of sweets. Sean Lock, My problem with The Grand Canyon is Americans are too proud of it for my liking. We promise that you will like these puns as much as you like clean laundry. I washed my clothes today, and a couple of pictures of Santa washed up. Victor Borge Just got fired from my job as a set designer. What do sailors do their laundry with? Connection! Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." "Life's like a bird. 5) "Nowadays, comedians tell the news and the media tells the jokes.". Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. It'd be a clothes call. She is fond of classic British literature. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringy- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. 15. Well, now it's a washp. I was a test-tube baby. Billy Connolly, Im sure wherever my Dad is: hes looking down on us. Its all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick. Andrew Lawrence, A man walks into a chemists and says: Can I have a bar of soap, please? The chemist says: Do you want it scented? And the man says: No, Ill take it with me now. Ronnie Barker, Hey, if anyone knows how to fix some broken hinges, my doors always open. Paul F. Taylor, People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. Abi Roberts, I always take my wife morning tea in my pyjamas. 28. Take away the fact that there is immense multi-faceted advancement daily, and that feeling remains. 43. Your email address will not be published. Do you want me to help you clean it?. 45. Here is a list of some home jokes and one-liners that can use to impress your friends and family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. and MoonPig (opens in new tab) 's survey for the best Great British dad jokes . Unplug the cord, too, as well as any connected devices. 22. 16. 38. They will just come out clean. I can write jokes I just choose not to. Stewart Lee, Conjunctivitis.com theres a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine, Exit signs? I almost fell down the stairs yesterday with a bucket of washed laundry in my hand. These are some of the funniest Laundry puns you'll read. I didn't go through with it because I don't want to pick up a dirty habit. 47. What detergent did the mermaid use? 55. One day my wife said, "how is it going to dry in the winter?". 3. Mom: Honey, your house is a wreck! I didnt think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected. 64. 42. People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves. The previous one sucked. 99 Problems opportunities What do you call an Italian window cleaner? I know its well-to-do because I said to my husband its chilly in here, and he said shall we turn the floor up? Sarah Millican, Police arrested two kids yesterday. POST. I was feeling chair-itable so I donated a lot of my old furniture to the homeless shelter near my house. I call it insta-gram. That are Actually Funny. Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop? Washington. My dog shed his hair all over the house, specifically on the fur-niture. IE 11 is not supported. To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: I hope you can't sleep at night. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around. The door was so heavy that I could not handle it. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die! Bill Murray, I bought myself some glasses. 66. Leaving excess sealer on the marble can make the stone cloudy or leave streaks. These better be funny! Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. The remote assured the television that everything was under his control. Today, I got offered a job at a prison laundry. If your daughter gets untidy from playing in the mud outside, you should just washer and dryer. 43. 2. Set a man on fire and hell be warm for the rest of his life. The wife says that yes, he could. Come to think of it, Im not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. When I am asked what my favourite genre of music is, I always say it is House. My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. Mark Twain, that prolific witty author who brought to us the delightful tale of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, was a quick witted man who seldom kept his opinion to himself! Shes 97 now and we dont know where she is. Ellen DeGeneres, I got a great review this morning. Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your . Two fish are in a tank. My realtor friend does not let anyone eat meat at the table. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 69. 7. That is wrong on so many levels. Kids and adults will moan, groan and laugh at these corny puns and one-liners. Radhika Mundra, Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes. 29. I'll take it out for a spin later. Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. I told her that I've got loads of them. What would happen if a wolf fell into the washing machine? Selling doors, door-to-door. Bill Bailey, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. Theyre on the way out! Tim Vine, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. What did the laundry ever do to you? Only a mon-key will be able to open the lock to my house. 3.. 76. First rule of house cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. 71. My friend was explaining electricity to me, but I was like, Watt?. 57. Dont you hate it when someone answers their own questions? My cousin wanted to know if I knew any laundry puns. Everyone in Britain prefers brooms over vacuum cleaners when it comes to tidying the floors. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners, 26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes, 17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes, 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes, 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes, 25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults, 25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners, 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley, 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes, 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes, 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes, Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners, Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners, 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier, 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes, 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes, 20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults, 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling, The 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team, 50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes, When Mercury retrograde ends and meaning behind the astrological event, Disabled children locked out of 210m in savings as senior Tories demand trust fund rule change, 'I don't regret our children's 50k-a-year school fees, even though I have to fly economy, Disabled teenagers want their cash, but an empathy gap in Government stands in the way, 'I was spiked and raped but saw no justice. 20. I saw a sign the other day that said, Watch for children, and I thought, That sounds like a fair trade.. Dirty cleaning jokes that you can also share with kids. If you want to read more puns about clothes, be sure to check out sock puns and shoe puns. My cousin Margaret said that she once fell into a detergent vat at a factory where she worked. 96. Why not! A Freudian slip is when you mean one thing and mean your mother. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. 52. I needed little help drying clothes after washing them. 51. 31. "Well, we'll just freeze-dry them", I told her. I failed math so many times at school, I cant even count. 50. So whether you enjoy texting funny one-liners to your best friend or can't wait to test these out in public, here are the 101 best one-liners. The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they always take things literally. With an Orlando Broom. The reception was fantastic. 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' Jerry Seinfeld, I was not a particularly small child. There was a key change in it. 42. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! They charged one and let the other one off. Tommy Cooper, Im learning the hokey cokey. THIS IS HILARIOUS. 1. My therapist says I have a preoccupation for revenge. 110 of the best clean jokes and one-liners to make the whole family laugh 'Crime in multi-storey car parks. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. 89. I really am light!". I'm really not into spring cleaning. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 85. I said, One minute Im on the phone. Read on! Your privacy is important to us. Your privacy is important to us. I dont suffer from insanityI enjoy every minute of it. Here are some famous one liner jokes that can easily lift your spirits. Sistermatic. 83. Read: Hilarious dad jokes that will make you laugh so hard! To do his duty. Funny one-liners 1. By load balancing. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Erma Bombeck, My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. When you clean out a vacuum cleaner 88. Polly Hedron Exact, Read More 14 Funny Math Names PunsContinue. A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. 35. ", 51. If attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler. 19. 34. The Maids Blog, 56 Best Clean(ing) Jokes ideas | humor, funny, bones funny, 160 Cleaning Humor ideas | humor, bones funny, funny quotes, Cleaning Puns Gifts & Merchandise Redbubble, 101 Good, Clean Jokes That'll Make You Laugh Your Pants Off, Clean Jokes You Can Share With Your Family, Here are the cleaning related music puns you didn't Gigwise, Cleaner Jokes: Croker, Chester Amazon.com, Stupell Industries Laundry Wisdom Sign Daily Life Cleaning , big list of clean silly jokes Ducksters, 145 Best Dad Jokes That Will Have the Whole Family Laughing, 16 Posts About Spring Cleaning Thatll Make You Laugh , https://www.scarymommy.com/cleaning-jokes-puns, https://jokesquotesfactory.com/cleaning-jokes-puns/, https://www.maids.com/blog/cleaning-jokes-that-are-actually-funny/, /search?num=20&sxsrf=ALiCzsajhPbLDdlUS-Dhu7-Qaw0MtmIq-w:1656822537832&source=univ&tbm=isch&q=cleaning+puns&fir=zc3wkYSIyiNy9M%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BMtL6mbGE_tCGHM%252CwxToNjU-v9agyM%252C_%253BoLV4l7t3dMAWlM%252CsNqaczlTr129pM%252C_%253BpmDYoJjf59UAyM%252CvBY4LYeifYZ_HM%252C_%253BG_sIzYeu5-ByeM%252COldtQREQHpZZkM%252C_%253BKUlCuKamINPshM%252C9mfUybilygRRDM%252C_%253B1Svkj68AnHMD1M%252CwIeiXdKWfLDN_M%252C_%253BCAKxT2ZiqYt3pM%252CBU7WUvLIUURxkM%252C_%253BsODtZTjJDANoTM%252CzVPXqABvzlTVwM%252C_%253BELl3LtqZdwHLDM%252Cxd1ddiU6uegFeM%252C_&usg=AI4_-kRqYjEQ26RTa2z4_O1jRIn16UlC5A&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjMvsn28Nv4AhXgrJUCHcQoDzQQjJkEegQIJRAC, https://www.pinterest.com/ocedarclean/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.pinterest.com/themaids/cleaning-humor/, https://www.redbubble.com/shop/cleaning+puns, https://dollychar.com/2020/04/cleaning-jokes/, https://www.reddit.com/r/puns/comments/ayj0gb/i_need_cleaning_puns/, https://parade.com/1041830/marynliles/clean-jokes/, https://www.readersdigest.ca/culture/clean-jokes/, https://www.gigwise.com/news/107576/make-music-cleaner-trending-on-twitter-best-music-puns, https://www.amazon.com/Cleaner-Jokes-Chester-Croker/dp/1796218987, https://www.amazon.com/Stupell-Industries-Cleaning-Stephanie-Off-White/dp/B08VCVBGCP, https://www.ducksters.com/jokes/silly.php, https://www.countryliving.com/life/a27452412/best-dad-jokes/, https://www.buzzfeed.com/delaneystrunk/jokes-about-spring-cleaning-twitter-tumblr. My dad just said, "the dryer can't run. I told them, "Just you wait!". After washing all the clothes, my mom accidentally dropped all the laundry. Did you hear about the pregnant . I have been working next to the sink in the kitchen all afternoon. 14. You are signed up for our newsletter! It said it needed some alone time to reflect. I wanted her to be the maid, and I wanted to be the guy playing video games. 38. Why do basketball players have messy rooms? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. What would you call it if you almost forgot to wash your laundry? Did you hear about that brand-new broom that just came out? 31. 62. 30. I choose round. Sarah Millican, When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. He came out spotless. Build a man a fire and hell be warm for a day. Never trust atoms; they make up everything. These one-liners, puns, and funny jokes for kids are appropriate for any time of day, month, or year! What would you call Tide Pods that prevent wars? It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. Tied pods. A: An arm and a leg. All I did was take a day off. When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Well, tell him I cant see him right now.. I ran out of detergent while I was going to do laundry today. Every visitor was apprehensive about their neigh-bour's behaviour. Any information you provide to us via this website may be placed by us on servers located in countries outside the EU if you do not agree to such placement, do not provide the information. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Laundry Puns What did the detergent say to the other after an excellent game? 19. what did the play say to the other play pun, 53 Squeaky-Clean Cleaning Jokes To Wash Your , 53 FUNNY Cleaning Jokes 2022 (For Man and Women! It's simple. May. When the bulb checked its weight on the weighing scale, he said to himself "Woah! Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Or theres this one: Cleaning the house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. That one is actually a quote from Phyllis Diller from her 1966 book Phyllis Dillers Housekeeping Hints and it still rings true, even today. If you liked our suggestions for laundry puns and jokes, then why not take a look at 50 best jokes for kids, or for something different take a look at library puns. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders. 15. To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now. 8. I rang up British Telecom and said: I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: Not you again. Tim Vine, Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld, I was in my car driving back from work. 27. When I got locked out of the house, I decided to break the window and get in. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. 59. 73. Tooth pics! Have you heard the name of the next book of the Divergent trilogy? Tap To Copy. That's a bit of a stretch." "I don't have a girlfriend. What did the first sock say to the second sock in the dryer? Maybe he'll surprise Ree (who has the best mom jokes, we should add). 60. 34. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. 2. Thats the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions. The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing someones cast. I was not certain about making our furniture ourselves. Marcelene Cox, Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest. I am originally from Indiana. We have a combination of the best laundry one-liners, puns, fashion puns, and clothes puns ready for you. 62. 90. 2. I was holding a bottle of detergent while doing my laundry. 12. 90. The process was paneful. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. They were just not ready to Lego of them. See? When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton. Jimmy Carr, I told the Inland Revenue I dont owe them a penny. 71. I start my new job as a street cleaner today. 15. I noticed that a wasp was in my laundry when I was dropping the clothes in the washer. 54. Its just something I could really see myself doing. 27. 63. So I became a mom. 4. But when it gets bad, I take something for it. Ken Dodd, I like to go into The Body Shop and shout out really loud, Ive already got one! Jimmy Carr, I got recognised today in Dixons. Now we have no Hope, no Cash and no Jobs. He is a knife guy. I used to think I was indecisive. What kind of chocolate will you find in your pocket while doing laundry? If you are a real estate agent yourself, or have a close friend that is a real estate agent, then you will love the real estate puns in this article. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" It should be: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours ox except in Scrabble. David ODoherty, How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth? Ross Noble, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. Why a carrot as a logo? ' Alan Carr, The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing somebodys cast. Demetri Martin, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldnt find any. Tommy Cooper, My wife its difficult to say what she does. But my mom encouraged us and said "I am sure it wood work". Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak. I like jokes about stationery, but rulers are where I draw the line. We have a load of washing machine jokes, laundry detergent jokes, and so much more. But you teach a man to fish saved yourself a fish havent you? Lee Mack, Crime in multi-storey car parks. Theres no training you just pick it up as you go along. She seemed surprised. The wife smiles, and says 'Thank you, that means a lot.'". Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. So we're hanging the clothes on a line outside. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. He is known to be a fridge magnate. 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! 8. An owl is essentially a one-piece unit. Ross Noble, If a role requires a haircut, I say I wont do it. Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. My grandmother left behind her favourite rocking chair. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? 23. When my sister came back and saw the furniture in her room had been re-arranged, she hit the roof! From knock-knock jokes (opens in new tab) to one-liners and extra corny crackers, swat up on a few old favourites or share some as a few fun things to do with kids (opens in new tab) when bored. I love silly, funny, nerdy, quirky jokes. Here are some of the most fun home and house puns that you will absolutely love. Radhika Mundra, Housework cant kill you but why take a chance. But we decided to chair it with our neighbours. It was nothing but uplifting. 46. Get them in on the cleaning pun action by showing them this list (yes, the jokes are all clean). Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. 43 Funny Star Trek Jokes That Will Make You Love Klingons. 97. The Grand Canyon was like that when they found it! When the refrigerator and microwave got married, the toaster gave a brilliant speech. She hoped the soaps would act as a detergent against future grime. Marcus Buckingham, You dont get anything clean without getting something else dirty. My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. 3. The man who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell prize. The cook used only one side of the kitchen and made some amazing dishes. I would tell you a joke about my bed, but it hasn't been made up yet. My dad thought he had won an argument with my mom about how to arrange our house furniture. One Of The Best Long Clean Jokes For Adults Teacher: "Who do you want to be when you grow up?" Timmy: "I want to follow in my father's footsteps and be a policeman." Teacher: "I didn't know you father was a policeman." Timmy: "He isn't. He's a burglar." I cant believe I got fired from the calendar factory. I'm currently eating a yoghurt called Susan. We always have some spare chairs in our house. I wrote a song about how I changed the lock of my house door. The list below also includes some great house cleaning puns and jokes. 35. 36. Life is more vibrant when we are joyful, exactly like artists do. To make sure they see it, Ive put it inside a birthday card. Gary Delaney, 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners26 of Stewart Lees most gloriously acerbic jokes49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes25 of Charlie Brookers most cutting jokes and insults25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland, 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes50 of the funniest Father Ted quotesRed Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-linersDerry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes50 of the best lines from Peep Show20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darlingThe 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team50 of the funniest Friends quotes and jokes.

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