25 of Dara Briains best jokes and funniest quotes " Humph In Wonderland " was a Christmas special. Now aged 103, Mr. Hinkler celebrated by repeating the event in October this yearand beat the train by seven and a half hours. English Various radio episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue from 1999-2004 with extra special programmes including " Humph Biography " and " Humphrey Lyttleton Tribute " which remembered the chairman of the programme after his death. But, in 2008,. . I don't think I was meant to read that bit." 30 of Michael McIntyres best jokes and funniest one-liners Humph redefined the role of the comedy panel game chairman. 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Jack Dee chairs the 76th series of the show. ", "Musical accompaniment at the piano will be provided by Colin Sell. . 38 of the funniest Russell Howard jokes Its not every duck that becomes President. He would delight in stopping, mid-performance, to announce that when he was supposed to say "genteel", for example, the script said "gentile". Find many great new & used options and get the best deals for I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue Box Set Of 6 CD's Used at the best online prices at eBay! Enforced Holiday. I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue has been delighting fans since 1972. To Michelangelo, His Holiness wants the ceiling plain magnolia emulsion. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a half-hour comedy programme, billed as "the antidote to panel games". Billed as "the antidote to panel games", it consists of two teams of two comedians being given "silly things to do" by a chairman. That Lyttelton did another 43 runs of a show marking five decades on air is due, Garden believes, to a change to its initial, completely improvised, approach which was a bit too casual. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. In this game, the teams imagine what effect certain letters might have had on history, had they not gone missing: Dear Dr Guillotine, We shall be pleased to grant a licence for your automated haircutting device just as soon as youve addressed one or two safety issues weve identified. The inspiration was always there to do something more quirky, more daring, more stupid and, occasionally, even more outrageously knob-gag-laden. However, it wasn't until 1993 that she started becoming the butt of increasingly risque jokes. (modern). The inimitable Humphrey Lyttelton is in the chair for these 25 hilarious editions (including the very first episode from 1972) plus two volumes of vintage 'Live' recordings (ad libs, retakes, warm-ups and all), a 35th anniversary special edition, and I'm Sorry I Haven't . Mrs. Sell says it's the only thing that gets him up in the morning. Together they form a body of work stretching across five decades, from Cambridge in 1960 to today's world-beating Antidote to Panel Games, a laughter-bringer . ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager. Apparently, they've been working on the restoration of an old chest of drawers. ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a mouthful of Jacob's", "Samantha has just returned from congratulating a local builder friend who successfully bid for a contract this week. Extracted from Im Sorry I Havent A Clue: The Best Of Forty Years by Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Jack Dee et al, to be published by Preface on October 4 at 20. ", "This round is all about the ancient art of communication. Yours in haste, Mrs. Trellis, Dear Mr. Duggleby, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why does my typewriter always stick on the letter Y? While the shows inventive innuendo is one of its great attractions for fans, the jokes are considered too rude or sexist for some. 50 football jokes to make you laugh or groan . After he did a few of the stage tours, he started to sing in tune, which rather spoiled the effect. She says she's got an expert handler coming round to give a demonstration. He was making notes to remind himself to point them out. You can't see the other half, because some fool has put a 700 foot bicycle wheel in the way. Since its inception 'Clue' has seen its success blossom from the impish son of 'I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again' to the big daddy of all panel games. Dear Herr Hitler, Sorry for taking a while to get back to you. "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Co "But, I hear you ask, what possible use could there be for a dummy with two left hands? Orbison, of course, was nicknamed 'The Big O', and in turn, he affectionately referred to Colin as 'That Little C'", "Piano accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me that his musical influences are Middle-Eastern in origin mostly Shi'ite!". I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue is just a small part of BBC Radio 4's long proud history of gentle comedy with added smut. It consists of two teams of two comedians "given silly things to do" by a chairman. ISIHAC NEWSLETTER. Some definitions from the Radio 4 Sorry I Haven't A Clue radio show : Abacus - Swedish swear word. 30 of Stephen Frys funniest jokes and quotes They said yes, and threw him in the swimming pool. 49 of Monty Pythons funniest jokes . Another bumper collection of classic fun and games from the award-winning BBC Radio 4 comedy show. This wasn't an act - he really couldn't have cared less. In fact, I have a cutting here from Jazz Monthly magazine, written by their top reviewer. 26 of Seann Walshs greatest jokes Recorded in 2008 at The Lowry in Salford. So listen up, rest of the world. Burt Reynolds greatest quotes remembering the actors wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 "The antidote to panel games", I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy show. I can tell by your face that stuff really does do exactly what it says on the tin., Dear Mr. President: What were the chances of someone called Mr. President actually getting that job? ", "Actually, we were all very impressed to learn that Colin once played alongside Roy Orbison. I then think about the show I have to write: its form, its style, its performers. After 30 minutes, the doleful host declared that the first show had come to a merciful end. Sell, on his living-room piano, could hear the panellists but, due to the time delay, they were singing half a bar behind. While she's very keen on his kidneys in red wine and his oxtail in beer, Samantha says it's difficult to beat his famous tongue in cider." Much play was made of Humph as the "purveyor of blue-chip filth", and he liked that title. . I always thought rugby was dangerous. Perhaps encouraging complaints about schoolboy humour was the fact that despite the early inclusion of Jo Kendall the stand-out panellists were for a long time blokes. All rights reserved. He loved jokes and he loved an audience. 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Certainly up there with "Ant looked on in horror as he went down with both hands on deck". Here is a compilatio. Panel Game (according to the introduction, "the antidote to panel games") broadcast on BBC Radio 4 and the "classic radio" station BBC 7. It may not have said so in his passport, but he was one of the wittiest comedians I ever met - one who could go off-script with the sharpest ad-libs. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is a BBC radio comedy panel game. Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. These days, we only really know Colin for his work at the piano, but as a young lad he cut his teeth on the harmonica until his teacher explained that he wasn't supposed to chew it. ", "Musical accompaniment will be provided by Colin Sell, who tells me he's thinking of branching out into artist management. 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", "Actually, Colin was telling us that he recently started on backing material with his new singer so if anyone needs some curtains run up", "Actually, listeners may be interested to hear that Colin doesn't only play the piano oh no. Love your butter., 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes From I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, 1995. 23 of Outnumbereds funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) ", "Lewis Carroll started his journeys to China from Sunderland. Yours sincerely, Mrs. Trellis, North Wales, Dear David Dickinson, I can sum up why the BBC have your programme on TV every night in three words: Cheap As Chips. Apparently, he's a vacuum cleaner salesman, and he's managed to get her the latest model. Reaction to BBC Radio Comedy is incredibly subjective, but I'm afraid I found tonight's episode (kicking off a new run) pretty feeble. ", "Teams, to accompany you, I'm sure you'd all like to welcome our brand new pianistbut until he's provided, we'll just have to make do with our old one Colin Sell. He often said that the others on the show were professional comedians, so why would he, a trumpeter, try to compete? Arent they a bunch of bastards, all that finger up the arsehole, all day long. She particularly enjoys a rewarding poke in the country section. All episodes of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. "Dear Rolf, Here's a handy hint: When you put the cat out, always use a high-quality fire extinguisher.". 50 of the best lines from Peep Show Harry Hill, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Colin Sell, Humphrey Lyttelton, Jon Naismith, Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer in Oxford for a recording of Im Sorry I Havent a Clue in 2005. (November 2006), "In her spare time, Samantha likes nothing more than to peruse old record shops. For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he was the only one to hear the show before it went out. People often talk of the rich, slightly posh, authoritarian tone of Humph's voice. With Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor, Stephen Fry, Jack Dee and Rob Brydon deputise as chairman of the antidote to panel games. Free shipping for many products! After the success of our 'not for broadcast' Theatre Tours in 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 (all sell-outs), we're returning with a special fundraising edition of the show for the charity ENRYCH, whose stated aim is to enrich the lives of disabled adults. One of the first women to, as the show might put it, hold her own was Jan Ravens. This evening she has an expert beekeeper coming round to show her a few tricks of the trade, and he says he'll quickly have her 38 bees out and flying round his head." Best Smart DNS for Spain. But one practice still makes it a bit of a wall of death. mw963 Posts: 2,844. . To order a copy for 15.99 (incl p&p) call 0843 382 0000. Let's move on. So Id rehearse it one key and then, in the recording, put it up a bit higher to throw him.. ", "The city (Leeds) has connections with many famous people. ", "Some experts believe that it might take its title from a town in Ireland, which is generally associated with meaningless nonsense. Missed ISIHAC on Monday so I only got to hear the latest Lionel Blair joke at lunchtime. And then the Anthony Worrell-Thompson sausages. 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) ", "Actually, we're all very excited for Colin, as he's been invited to play at a U-2 gigwhat great reunion dances those German submarine crews have. However, she finds that if she butters him up properly she can sometimes get him to splash out." The 72nd series of the multi award-winning comedy panel game chaired by Jack Dee. Accusations of homophobia resulted from a running gag, straddling two centuries, about Lionel Blair, dancer and team captain of ITVs charades-based game show Give Us a Clue. (Humphrey Lyttleton's final joke on the show, recorded shortly before his death in April 2008), "You'll be accompanied by Colin Sell on the piano. That went off. The comedian Jeremy Hardy has died, aged 57, leaving behind a legacy of formidable wit and humour. Perennial antidote to panel games. With Jeremy, the reason he was so bad was that he had never sung in public. ", "While Samantha nips out to enjoy a portion of local winkles in cider", "So as Samantha heads off to the Highland games to admire the contestants in the caber competition, and perhaps have a go at tossing one or two herself", "So while Samantha nips out to nibble on her favourite bit of Leicester", "Samantha has just started keeping bees, and already has three dozen or so. The rule was that the joke was always clean on the page, with the laughter coming solely from the mis-hearing - literally, in the double entendre. ", "Incidentally, pianist Colin Sell was once mistaken for a member of the Partridge Family it took him nearly three weeks to pick the lead shot out of his backside. That was generally the case - except when I had the luxury of Humph's voice in my head. More than once, between tears of helpless laughter, the producer and I asked each other: "Can we actually broadcast that?". Although Blair was heterosexual, his camp manner and balletic skills seeded a game of radio mime in which the punchlines alluded to gay sex. 50 of Jimmy Carrs funniest jokes and one-liners 41 of Eddie Izzards funniest jokes and quotes Someone told me, says Garden, that the BBC has a vault of programmes to be played in the case of nuclear war and Clue is among them., So the last thing Britons ever hear may be ingenious innuendo about Piers Morgan or Samantha? ", "It's well documented in official records that the City's original name was 'Snottingham', or 'Home of Snots', but when the Normans came, they couldn't pronounce the letter 'S', so decreed the town be called 'Nottingham' or the 'Home of Notts'. Clue also survived the technical challenge of lockdown recordings on Zoom. Also, Samantha was usually the instigator of these alleged events she was never taken advantage of and also, finally, she didnt exist. The matter was eventually settled by alternating her duties with Sven, an equally libidinous male. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids "When I'm Cleaning Windows" to the tune of "Walking in the Air" (Graeme Garden) 33. ", "Welcome to ISIHAC where fun and laughter get on like a mouse on fire. 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes. . Samantha is in charge of polishing, while he scrapes the varnish and wax off next to her. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue is greatest radio comedy, says panel For his first 17 years as producer, says Naismith, he "was the only one to hear the show before it went out". To see a man's true face, look to the photos he hasn't posted. Someone in middle management says: Im not so sure about this line, then someone else isnt sure, either.. ", "Dear Mrs McCartney: My, what a terrible mess. Jack Dee chairs the 77th series of the show. 'Risky, rude, brilliantly written and superbly performed' The Judges, Sony Radio Academy Award This second treasury contains over 30 hilarious editions of the awar d-winning 'antidote to panel games', first published as I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue Volumes 1 0 to 15, I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue . to the best of my recollection. ", "The area has become even more of a tourist attraction. Sun 19 Oct 2008 19.01 EDT. From the moment Humph took the two small envelopes containing the scripts printed on postcards, the words became his. Childhood - young gangster. . "Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. Even though I was responsible for what I like to describe as "post-feminist irony" (known in the comedy business as "knob gags"), I was sometimes equally amazed by what we asked Humph to try to get away with. Sincerely, Specsavers, The High Street, Hastings. The show is introduced as "The Antidote to Panel Games" and consists of a panel of four comedians, split into two teams and "given silly things to do" by a chairman. The manageress at Dorothy Perkin's says if she catches him in there again, she'll call the police. Know what I like to do? ", "You know, I was interested to learn recently that Colin doesn't just play the piano, in fact I have a letter here that says he's recently become very handy on the sax and that's signed by the Haringey Council Waste Disposal Department. Bustard - very rude ominbus driver. So says John Lloyd, brains behind Blackadder, QI, Spitting Image, and so much besides - all shows with a massive debt to I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again and I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. 'We're not your enemies!' Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 41 of Stewart Francis most ingenious jokes and one-liners 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians "I Will Survive" to the tune of "Over the Rainbow" (Tim Brooke-Taylor) 32. Fifty years on, Im Sorry I Havent a Clue is still in the same slot. It preserves the soul from desiccation. No radio show has aided that cause greater than Im Sorry I Havent A Clue, the much-loved panel show that Lyttelton (right) chaired until his death four years ago. 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes. Any chance of a signed photo for my grandson Dyno-Rod Emergency Hotline Trellis?, Dear Mr. Gadaffi, You must be very proud. Hosted by Humphrey Lyttelton, and originally played by Barry Cryer, Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden, Willie Rushton, a range of guests have performed on the programme's panel since it began. Graeme Garden and Barry Cryer, regular panellists on Radio 4's panel show I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, Donald Trump to arrive in UK in week of Coronation, I wasnt good at being a performing monkey, King reveals in BBC documentary, Sadiq Khans Ulez has turned centre of London into a ghost town, I took a pay cut to get a public sector pension, Technology and slow growth will destroy 14 million jobs by 2027, Jewish leaders want to meet Guardian editor over anti-Semitic Richard Sharp cartoon, reports that BBC Radio 4 considered toning down. 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes Samantha says he's keen to lay her up in the Orkneys", "Samantha has to nip out now to spend time with her new gentleman friend. ", "Well, it's time to meet the teams and I can honestly say you couldn't ask for four better comedians. 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke The show launched in April 1972 as a parody of radio and TV panel games, and has been broadcast ever since on BBC Radio 4 and the BBC World Service. There's also Barrow-in-Furness which involves burning garden implements, Sellafield, where the object is to try to flog off a plot of contaminated land, and of course we musn't forget Broadstairs, a game for people who are too fat to use the lift. But we wouldnt get the repeat fees., 50 Years Without a Clue is on Radio 4 and BBC Sounds on 16 April at 8p. She tells me she's got a man coming round who's keen to inspect her . Schindler Goes To Ryman's, Buys A Biro And A Notebook, Freud-Grown Tomatoes at the Weasel's Top Cafe, The Reigning Pain Stays Mainly on the Plane, Learn how and when to remove this template message, https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=I%27m_Sorry_I_Haven%27t_a_Clue&oldid=3242984, "Samantha tell us she has to nip off now to see her gentleman beautician friend now, who has a leg hair treatment for her. Im just suprised I haven't seen a chopper with the Diamond Dogs or MSF logos on them. In which the panel translate the true meaning of that ignoble professions favourite soundbites: As the Honourable Member is perfectly aware, I have nothing to hide You bastard, how did you find out? I'm Sorry I Haven't a ClueThe Complete Lionel Blair (1993-2007) Mark Campbell 1.45K subscribers Subscribe 212K views 4 years ago A compilation of every single Lionel Blair joke (as. [significant pause] On the piano, Colin Sell! The teams take it in turns to sing various lines in order to make up a the verses of a madrigal. Actually, listeners may be fascinated to learn that before Christmas, Colin was employed to play the piano for The Stranglers. When I am asked how a comedy writer is inspired to write new jokes every week, there is a pat answer: I get up and sit down at my computer with a cup of strong coffee. He'll carefully take out her 38 bees and soon have them flying round his head. This is the game where the team are presented with the first half of memorable quotations to finish off: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. Here's some of her excuses for leaving early: **Important** - A warning about a new book about Humphrey Lyttelton. Many featured the escapades of the show's fictional scorer, the lovely Samantha. What do you think? Approaching what would have been his 87th birthday, he told an audience in Eastbourne: "It makes a nice change to be one of the youngest people in the room.". ", "Samantha has to nip out now as she is meeting her new zookeeper gentleman friend. Lazy cow hasnt even taken her milk in for a fortnight!, Try saying: Whale Oil Beef Hooked without sounding like an Irish man swearing., One of my friends went on a murder weekend now he is doing life for it., A sewage farm. Caberet - wide range of taxis for hire. Is this the Guinness Book of World Records record for Guinness Book of World Records? "Samantha is off to see a chef gentleman friend who is renowned for his fine-quality offal dishes. Sometimes he would even read the stage directions. Sometimes I wondered if producer Jon Naismith and I took too much advantage of his easygoing insouciance. He was a great comedian not just on Clue but also on The Goodies and many other shows on TV and radio. I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue: smuttiest jokes As BBC Radio 4 agrees not to tone down I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, here are some of the show's smutty Samantha jokes over the past four decades . 72. In 2005, when Garden and Naismith made plans for the first live tour (partly to supplement the paltry Radio 4 fees), the BBC tried to stop them, claiming copyright until legal advice said that neither the BBC nor Garden owned the show, which was not a format, but a series of formats. 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death Incidentally, we were all surprised to hear that Colin has recently been standing in for Oasis. All rights reserved. All rights reserved. I'm pretty sure you have a perfect understanding cos your post makes absolute sense and we all recognise Corporal big ears Normie and Bomber wing ears Normie. He lays ribbons of sticky wax paper on her thighs and then lets them dry. Sit down, Madam." With news of a part he's been holding for her. ", "Samantha has to nip out now, as she is off to see a Scots trawlerman friend, whose vessel needs to go in for repairs. Just imagine, it's a sunny Monday night in December in lovely Brighton, the cast of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue are singing one song out of tune to another, while Colin Sell has a disagreement with a grand piano. Lyttelton's Britain: A User's Guide to the British Isles As Heard On BBC Radio's I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, by Iain Pattinson, is published by Preface. There can be no greater compliment to the performance of a script than for the audience to fail to notice there is one. 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding After a set-piece game, he might say: "'If that dies on its arse, make them do another one.' 30. I then begin to type, inspired by the thought of how the hell I'm going to pay the mortgage. "Dear Mr. Rees, I understand you're looking for suggestions for your 'Quote, Unquote' programme. ", "While Samantha nips out to warm up her little Morris", Samantha has to nip out now as she's got a new job working in the sound archive as the manager.
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